Until the Brain stops growing

Life with children and disabilities is a never ending story.  Without the history in my family of any types of disabilities I was thrown into this realm by my children that I adopted.  As they were growing all these "challenges" were evolving.  As my children were growing, so were the different aspects of the disabilities in the world.  Non Verbal Learning was just being investigated.  Remember those kids when you were growing up in the 60's that we said were plain obnoxious?  Well they had a learning disability and no one knew.  The reason I say a never ending story is because my first child, my daughter, was making very good inroads to college and understanding her disability, until a Navy boy thought it would be in his best interest to have her elope with him.  I was lucky she got her first year of school under her belt, but she did elope.  She made a momentary decision that "love" was the be all end all, and he was being transferred and now married to my daughter would not go overseas.  Yes, this was a total shock after all the hard work and fighting I did to get her where she was.  In going through my brain I could not understand when I went wrong as a Mother.  Since I was not brought up by a very nurturing person, one who was impulsive herself, these were the things I wanted to do for my daughter.  So not being able to find a solution in my brain, I sought psychiatric help,  I am working with a great therapist who gives me strategies to deal with my daughter.  Since my daughter's elopement, she has not enrolled in school, told me she was investigating it, moved to a different state and does not work.  None of which I am in approval of.  My therapist gave me the name of a great book "Brainstorm" by Daniel J Siegel, MD.  This is about when adolescence begins and really ends.  Yes, it's in the brain and it does not end until the brain stops growing until the age of 24!  OMG I have to wait that long!  Well the good part is that we all have gone through this process and the decisions that we make are not right or wrong.  They mold how we make decisions or walk the next steps of our lives.  It molds our direction for decisions in our future lives.  

Now my daughter is in full swing of this  adolescence phase.  It is really scary to think that the decisions she is making right now, and they are hers, will mold the person she is becoming,  World watch out, it scares me.  At this age, 19 the knowledge that children have is minimal and they are making monumental decisions with their lives.  This is not like it was decades ago, The world is a very scary place, it's more difficult to make a living, let alone getting money for school.  

So my husband wait at home and find out all these monumental decisions these young people are making.  I wish they would listen to us when we say, "Choose wisely, it comes back to haunt you".  Boy does it!  But as anyone who is reading this blog will understand, no one listens, but when the brain stops growing let's see what happens!

And the summer begins....

As the school year ends for families with children that have disabilities, the new question enters everyone's mind, what am I going to do with my child or children.  The conventional camp are not made to handle learning disabled children and if they tell you they are, I sincerely tell you, INQUIRE!  Most of the camp counselors are not knowledgeable to help these children and the camp does not provide training.  It is difficult to find an affordable camp that can help your child become engaged and work with their disability.  I know, it took years of searching for a camp that would be suitable for both my daughter and son.  Luckily we live in the modern world of the internet.  We, parents, can search every criteria of what we want for our child and have it in a camp.  The downside, these camps vary in pricing.  Yes, when you need extra coverage you are paying a premium.  I will agree, sometimes my husband and I are budgeting for camp during the year versus a new stove.  You pick what you need.
I have been lucky enough to have fallen into the realm of good camps.  I always ask for recommendations, but my children's disabilities are not common and no one in my general living region knows of anything, not their fault, but of course my learning experience as as I tell everyone, this is a continual learning experience.  My children have had the privilege (yes privilege) to go to Franklin Academy in CT.  As a parent I cannot tell you how comfortable I am with the staffing, counselor and the kids at this facility.  The best find on the East Coast.  My daughter went for the first two weeks the first time she went, after that she always stayed for 4 weeks and wanted nothing to doe with us.  Okay, I buy that, but the staff always kept me informed!!! Yes, I knew what she was doing and so did they.  The great part, our children are with other children like themselves, they find out they are not this alien group that is so far from everyone else.  They accept and learn to deal with their disability.  Key, learning to deal with their disability, it will always be there but they need to work with it, not you!  Now I have introduced my son to this marvelous camp.  I did have my doubts as he is the one who does not like to leave the nest.  He interviewed and was excited!!!!  Yes, my husband and I dropped him off, got him settled and thought that it would be a tear ridden good bye.  Yeah, right, just for me!  He adjusted so well, he didn't get away from his friends to say good bye.  So much for homesick!.  He does text me some interesting tidbits.  Yesterday he told me that he tried scrambled eggs for the firs time.  I asked him what they tasted like, his reply " They tasted like what I thought a protein would taste like, bland".  Okay really, protein?  Really!  He texted me a picture of his dorm room.  I said you didn't make the bed?  He replied " Mom don't your remember the sheets blend into each other!"  Really, okay he's adjusted!!!
There are times when you doubt life, why is my child like this, and how is he or she going to get through life with all these issues.  Life survives, children are resilient.  This generation will survive and these children, as I have always said, are God's chosen.  They will triumph and make believers out of the rest.  God gave them these issues to help other overcome normal issues.  I truly believe this and my kids are proving this to me.
And so, the summer begins.