The Journey with Special Ed Children

AS I walk up the ramp for the train in the morning, I see a wonderful sunrise. I look to start a new day, a new journey, and then begin to think of my children. Will they look at this day as a journey? Will they see that life never permits us to take the same path, and that to truly survive we must be open to new ideas, new thinking and open concepts in the world. Well much to much on an esoteric level for a 13 and 18 year old, back to reality. Today my 18 year old returns to college. She has been home for 6 weeks, a new person, new ideas, new ways of living. Certainly this was an adjustment for my husband and I, but she is an evolving being, made PLENTY of mistakes, but is on her journey to where she needs to be. Our journey as parents of an 18 year old is to guide, and as she reminds us, she is legal and 18. Yes, what does that word legal mean? Especially when you are in college??? Hmm, maybe you can drive, but since you have no money you cannot afford insurance, hence no car, you have no job so hence, you must live with your parents, you can not legally drink, oh, but yes, you can vote. So in reality, what does 18 mean? Hmm I have learned a very valuable lesson. 18 means a journey of adolescence. Spirited, impulsive, all knowing, all trying, their new beginning of becoming an adult, not a mature adult, but in actuality an adult. For a parent of an 18 year old, it's a time of sitting back and letting go. Of course for my husband and I this is extremely difficult, but we have to do it. My daughter had a rough start at school, she does have a disability. When she came home we outlined the rules, our house, our rules. No one in the house when we are not home. Seems like a normal request, not to an 18 year old who loves boys. While she was home she did great, picked up my son from school, did errands and even helped around the house. We were so pleased until we found out she had a new "love" on facebook, oh and one of the pictures was of her and the boy is her room. Yes, her room. Well detective Mom to the rescue. Really!!! Hmm not many people have surveillance cameras, my daughter did not use her brain! Oh did we see them on the camera. My classic comment to my daughter is, " I know everything, God tells me everything and if you don't think so, test me!". One step ahead! Can't lie, know the truth. Now that I am calmed down I have different thoughts. My first thoughts were security, I don't know this person he could rob me. Now my thoughts are, hmmm, she thought we would say no, so she snuck him in. Okay no harm done, yes against my wishes, but she did admit he was in my house without permission. Okay, it's not drugs, it's not alcohol, she's on birth control and she's in a safe place. Hmmm, that journey I was mentioning. Too much yelling, too much anger, saying goodbye was difficult, but essential for her journey. Her journey is hers, alone, no Mom, no Dad, her destiny. What do you actually know at 18? My son on the other hand is just beginning his journey, 13 years old. Gawky, pimples and growing!!!! Hormonal changes galore! So when the teacher writes to have a meeting because he wanders in thoughts during writing, literature and history, and cannot get motivated? Really? My son has an extremely high IQ. These are not his subjects to excel in, but at home I guide him through the writing. Tolerance, patience and Mom. Okay so home schooling is better and quieter. Here we go again, we just had a med's increase which worked, but the writing is just not his forte. We all excel in certain areas, this one is not good, but he will get through it, puberty is tough, boy do I know it with girls, now for the boys! I often ask people what it is like to have normal children, no hassles, no special ed teachers, no therapists, no drama? I don't think I can find a person who does not experience one of these issues. Okay so your child has one, mine have all, don't get me wrong, I love my kids to pieces! I have fought for each one of them tooth and nail, advocate to advocate, attorney's versus school systems, I have my battle scars for my kids. Normal? I'll really have to look this up in the dictionary! So about that journey???? It's still in the sunrise!